A new generation of “80s style satanic panic is spreading across Australia” at least, according to news.com.au. These are some pretty gnarly and sensational claims and I must admit, I’m rather sceptical. The fact of the matter is, I don’t believe Australians are dumb enough or crazy enough to go along with such a contrived narrative. At least, I bloody hope they’re not.

Here’s the goss, anyway: certain Australian TikTok influencers have been swayed by American trad wife types to begin importing MAGA-esque beliefs and conspiracy theories. One such belief is that your children are not safe and are under a constant threat from organised satanic cults, for which there is no tangible evidence because these cults don’t exist. Shake well before use and you have a satanic panic on your hands.

How this will impact the witchcraft and pagan communities remains to be seen. Intuition tells me, these little seeds of hate and paranoia will mostly fail to sprout in Australian soil. Aussies are far too sensible for this brand of madness and mass hysteria. I am taking this stance one month after the Bondi Beach shooting, a time when the country needs healing, unity and peace, not group psychosis with religious themes.

By the way, welcome to Witchn. This is my debut post. I’ve been sitting on the fence about this project and whether I have the time, energy, and desire to give this thing a go, and whether I want my original writing to become fodder for AI robots. The answer to all these questions is a resounding no, obviously but here I am, anyway. I guess the ridiculousness of the world we live in at the moment has spurred me into action.

In the wise words of songwriters, Burt Bacharach and Hal David, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” Not another satanic panic. Not another witch hunt, and not another pin-the-blame-on-the-pagan. We’ve had enough of that. Come on, Australia, critical thinking: on.

Has satanic panic reared its ugly head in your part of the world? Share your thoughts below.